Bad Habits


As this day is nearing and my thoughts are accumulated, I start to think and pray that I’m not like 80% of the people in the world.  I’m thinking about the faith and longevity of my “New Years Resolution”.

You see, I have a bad habit (no it’s not drugs or alcohol).  My bad habit has been keeping me busy for 5-years and some months.  This habit started on my last deployment to Kuwait and unlike most, continued once I returned to the states.  Just as most habits, I use this one to fill voids; to take away the sadness; to take away the pain; the confusion and every other life emotions that I sometimes struggle or embraced.  Because ironically, I use this bad habit even in good news, exciting news and news worth celebrating.

After saying all this, I cant help but to wonder if I’ll be like most and by March my resolution will be a thing of the past?  I wonder if by the end of 2018, I’ll be wondering “so much for that”. “Maybe Ill try again next year” or  think of it the same way I view weight lost resolutions?  Usually around my birthday in March, I’m always thinking of what I would’ve looked like or how much I would’ve weighed had I stuck with the plan set on January 1st.  Yeah, I’m that girl.

In my defense, it’s not that hard to quit a habit,  right? I mean, I’ve quit habits before, smoking for example. After 20+ years of back and forth with smoking,  I literally quit one faithful day, praying that my “good-will” would make a difference at my doctors visit 3-days later.  Well, I’m not sure if it did, but I know that my results were heaven-sent and on that day I made a deal with God.  That’s all I know.  

I must say, mentioning my smoke-habit does raises other questions I have of myself.  If I can quit a 20-year habit, then shouldn’t it be easier to quit a 5-year habit?  I mean just as this bad habit, I used smoking with every emotion as well.  The good, the bad, the happy, the sad! But just as stopping smoking, will there be residual effect?  Like excessive weight  gain? I mean we do other things to fill the voids, right?

I have to find faith.  I have to believe that I can replace this bad habit with other things that will be good for me.  I could go for a walk, phone-a-friend, go to the gym, play with my pre-schooler, play with my dog, redecorate a room, reorganize my garage, finish laying the back-splash in my kitchen, go to the spa, go shopping…

Or I can simply blog about my success or my failure of kicking this bad habit.

Either way, today is January 1st.  Let this resolution began!

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1 thought on “Bad Habits”

  1. Kisha says:

    As we enter the New Year many make new resolutions that soon falls on death ears by the middle of the month. Everyone is always hopeful that their BAD Habits will disappear with the past year. Entering the New Year brings hope with the intentions of making things better for the New Year. I’ve always believe that if you do what you always do, then you’ll get what you get . Oddly enough many of us get comfortable with this concept and realizes it’s not too bad after all. That is until we realize another year has passed us by. BAD habits become a way of life for us and being in the military I’ve defintely developed many of them. Instead of new resolutions I think of it as new year, new chances, same dreams with a fresh start. A fresh start to rid myself of old BAD Habits.

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