Self-Blame is Real!


As 2017 was coming to a close, there were several cases of work-place sexual assault and sexual harassment cases.  That year closed with highlights involving a lot of people in prominent and powerful positions.  These cases ranged from men (particularly) that were CEO’s to news-broadcasters to music moguls.  These cases, in my opinion, were part of a campaign that grew and grew which enabled the victims to disclose terrible tragedies that occurred to them within the workplace, mostly.  This allowed them to speak openly and not worry about the repercussions that many had feared in the past that could have prohibited their growth/promotions within organizations.

Now, personally, I know nothing about music moguls; I know nothing about news broadcasters or CEO’s.  But what I do know is that none of the cases involved military officials.  I’m sure this comment raises an eyebrow for many, especially those whom never served.  Just as other organizations there are those who are in positions that do use their “grade or position to attain pleasure, profit”.  Contrary to what is seen on television…….

Could the reason that no-one from the military was involved, because no-one at that moment in the armed forces chose to come forward? There wasn’t any issues? Is it that the rules of the military are different then the rules in the civilian sector regarding sexual crimes? Or could it be that the repercussions sometimes are a lot more severe than in the civilian sector?

I could speculate.  My speculation isn’t because I feel as though nothing like that was going on at the time in the military or does my speculation come from thinking that it doesn’t happen.  I do not need to speculate about what happens, The Invisible War. 

Gosh. After serving 24 years and 42 weeks , believe me when I tell you, I have stories.  Believe me when I tell you that my friends have stories.  I’ve seen stories. I’ve had things that has happened to me but one particularly, literally, complicates my life, today.  It’s not the incident per se, it’s the person(s) in which it involved.  Regardless of how resilient I may be or how “tough” I am, there are just thing that happens to you that takes the breath out of you; take you to your knees and beg God to go back in time to take it away.  However, all too often those same incidents cause you to think “what could I have done differently to prevent this from happening?”  “what did I say or do?”

How do we end self-blame?


It had to be me!

Self-blame is real.

Self-blame causes you to believe that the predators are damn-near innocent. Self-blame causes you to reconsider what you did, said, wore, the way you acted, your gestures, your actions, your faith….

It causes you to believe that maybe just maybe, that what you experienced wasn’t really the way it happened.  You imaged it wrongly.  It causes you to believe that there were other things that happened, even when it didn’t. Growing imagination.   It causes you to believe that YOU are the reason that a predator became a predator.  They weren’t predators, before.

That’s it, it had to be me!

How do we end self-blame?


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